Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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