If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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