i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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