This girl is more easily done than said...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
