Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
