Dude my mom stole all your condoms
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
