I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Randomize
