It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
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The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
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and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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