I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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