taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize