she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
