Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
