Don't you send me to vm
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
