it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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