Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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