you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
