oh god the rape fog is back!
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
