She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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