My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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