we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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