"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
