He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
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The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
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I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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