you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
