i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
