no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one