brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
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Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
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The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days