my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!