"it" just moved
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of