Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money

  (813): View more from Florida

  sounds like you understand them just fine

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  (901): I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money (813): sounds like you understand them just fine http://tfl.nu/0zfp
  Replies (10) Good night (1789) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.

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  (503): idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him. http://tfl.nu/3ewm
  Replies (20) Good night (2890) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed

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  (585): im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed http://tfl.nu/eq1c
  Replies (89) Good night (9234) Bad night (1733)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?

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  (781): There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours? http://tfl.nu/3112
  Replies (2) Good night (3416) Bad night (711)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?

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  (781): At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot? http://tfl.nu/hn75
  Replies (7) Good night (2416) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either

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  (902): He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either http://tfl.nu/fc5z
  Replies (5) Good night (2900) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.

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  (612): I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover. http://tfl.nu/pxbl
  Replies (8) Good night (3980) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  I like the way you think.

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  (303): I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming. (1-303): I like the way you think. http://tfl.nu/s14n
  Replies (6) Good night (1775) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"

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  (310): Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there" http://tfl.nu/gk1u
  Replies (3) Good night (1383) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.

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  (914): I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm. http://tfl.nu/kbjg
  Replies (13) Good night (1553) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.

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  (479): Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom. http://tfl.nu/7rpj
  Replies (7) Good night (3041) Bad night (730)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.

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  (858): I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back. http://tfl.nu/eq49
  Replies (3) Good night (680) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.

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  (312): My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him. http://tfl.nu/tfrh
  Replies (7) Good night (1014) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.

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  (601): My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service. (1-601): Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar. http://tfl.nu/yh0y
  Replies (1) Good night (980) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..

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  (785): Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom.. http://tfl.nu/34oi
  Replies (1) Good night (285) Bad night (426)

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