remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
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Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
whose ass print is on the piano?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
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Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT