its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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