so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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