Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
