I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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