Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
