he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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