you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
