People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
