took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize