I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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