That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
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Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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