maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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