Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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