I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize