I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
