i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize