WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it was like eating out sand paper
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize