oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
