i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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