just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
