I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
