I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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