i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
