Got a toothbrush?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
