I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
