i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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