3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
