Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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