Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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