The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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