she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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