I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
it's not cheating when I paid for it
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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