Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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