I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
