he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
