New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
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Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
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Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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