You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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