ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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