I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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