So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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