I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Randomize
