help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
