then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
