Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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